Just more than half a day left before I can finally say, "2007 was a thing of the past." I've finally learned this year that I need myself more than ever before, more than anyone else that I know. If I can say that this year was a thing of the past and never look upon it ever again, I can say that to anything else that have plagued my past.
Relationships
At the beginning of this year, I thought I could give my relationship another go at it. Little did I know that I wasn't going to be any happier than I was back in December of 2006. And shortly after, my ex had broken up with me. She thinks that I'm mad at her for breaking up with me, but in fact, I was waiting for her to break up with me. Time and time I think about her, and it brings back horrible memories of how much I get out of my way, so that she's happy. But all the while that she was happy, I was miserable. I hated her mom, for being the bitch that she was. Her annoying little brother and the retarded comments he would make. And her fucked up suicidal sister. I especially hated how she would always put her religion or her mom and sister first before herself. And this filled me up with anger, and it still does, for the wasted time I had spent on her. I've finally learned that I have to look at the entire picture before I decide to dedicate my time to anyone.
Once the relationship had ended, she had started a new one right away. This was probably a way for her to get back at me, but it had failed miserably, for I didn't care one bit. We had gone our separate ways and have never spoke ever since. But I wanted to be a new relationship with someone that would think for herself, and keep some balance between life and the relationship. But for every girl I had tried to go for, I would see faults in them.
F - She was high maintenance and not so "bright".
S - A girl that you can't trust. Way too many guy friends, and I mean way too many. It was pretty close for us to start a relationship, but it never happened. And probably never will.
Then there were girls that I was interested in when the school year had begun, but it didn't get as serious as the two above.
2008 would probably be another year that I'm going to be single, but this would be a good time to concentrate on my studies and earn a little more cash for myself - and for whoever becomes my girl in the future. Time will tell.
CareerThis year, I didn't do too well. And it's gonna be awhile before I actually get to graduate. But now I'm thinking... is this the right program for me? I always thought of doing paramedicine at UofT and Centennial, but that never took flight. And now I can't see myself sitting infront of a computer screen for the rest of my life. I spoke to some guy at work who graduated from Ryerson engineering 3 years ago. He said if I really want to do what I want to do, it doesn't matter how long it'll take, which is true. I have 2 years left in my current program, and depending if I transfer, I'll probably get one years' worth of credits at the joint program, which also leaves me two years left in that program. Well, I have until May to decide if I want to do that, so we'll see what happens.
"Friends"
This isn't your typical thanking of close friends who were there when you needed them. It's more like, people come into your life and become your friend, be it a girlfriend or boyfriend of your close friend, but realizing that they aren't showing the entire picture when they're around you [hence the quotations]. I'll try to explain it...
[Fictional names are used to tell this story better]
Brenda was going with Dennis. After a relationship starting to go sour, Brenda decides to hang out with other guys, which makes the relationship go south even faster. Sooner or later, they break up after Dennis realizes that she has been seeing another guy named Alex while still in their relationship. So Dennis leaves, never to be seen in her life again. The picture is just Alex and Brenda. But as the relationship progresses, now in their fifth month, so goes to one of Alex's close friends, Jake. Brenda tells Jake that if he had tried harder to chase her, she would've been with him instead of Alex. And so Jake tells me this. And since Alex, Jake and I are very close friends, this means trouble for Alex, even though he knows nothing about it. Just recently, Alex and Brenda were at my house and Alex fell asleep. I was playing games and Brenda was just sitting there watching me. Then, out of nowhere, she says: "Let's go outside for a walk, I have a lot on my mind." 'Oh god, here we go.' I thought. But I refused, cause 1) I don't want to get myself involved with anything and 2) Alex was in the same room. He could've heard what she said...
So if you were in my shoes, what would you do? Protect your friend and tell him everything, or just let it be?
2007 was an interesting year indeed, with its fair share of ups and downs. Let's just hope the new year can bring me better and brighter news.
See you next year. Over and out.
