Uncalled For.

Have you ever started to fall for someone, just to find out that they're into someone else or even worse, dating them?

That's what I found out today. I knew something was up between them, but I didn't want to think about that. That was pretty much my last option kinda thing. But I gotta hand it to N, he won C's heart, and I guess that's all that matters right? She's happy, happier than with her previous bf will ever give her. But the fact that you really don't know what you missed out, until you see it infront of you, is...what...really...sucks...

She has no idea. She never will.

It's not the fact that he's white that makes me sick (Don't get me wrong, I'm totally fine with the whole interracial thing). But the fact that they were so cuddly, so happy, couples were kissing left, right, and center that I really had to get away. And with Valentine's Day around the corner, it's not fucking helping at all.

Fuck you, V-Day.

No.

This can't be. She's just a friend. I can't be falling for her. Not now...

Disappointment

I look at my financial situation and think, "where the hell did all my money go?"

Seriously, I have no idea. I've worked at Wonderland for 3 years, averaging $6,000 for the entire season of just 4 months. That's $18,000 altogether, plus all the side jobs I've had inbetween those seasons. So altogether, I should have $20,000 if I don't spend a dime. But of course I have a life, and I have to. A laptop, my accident, my wii, games, food... I should still have about $12,000 in my savings account. But no. I don't have even half of that. What's going on? I'm trying to save up for a car, but it's not happening at the rate that I'm spending. I need to find a way to keep my OWN money away from me. I need to get myself to the point where buying a $5 drink makes me cringe.

I need to open up a savings account again just so I can't touch my money. It'll keep my wallet closed.

Flop

I'm pissed off.

A friend of mine agreed to buy my Wii. Next thing I know, he flops on me and won't buy it anymore because "my cousin just got a Wii. I can just borrow his, sorry man."

Another friend of mine agreed to buy my laptop. She ALSO flops on me. Her excuse was she couldn't afford it at the moment.

WHY WOULD YOU AGREE IN THE FIRST PLACE. DAMN IT.

Off To A Good Start

It's day two of 2008 and I can see how this year is going to play out already. I'll be surprised if I make it to the end of this year...

I woke up this morning with a sudden hearing loss in my left ear. I thought it was just plugged because of the cold and I was a bit sick to begin with. But I just read about sudden hearing loss and it's actually a medical emergency...

I'm now actually scared. I'm going to leave for the doctor's soon [and I don't even know if they're taking any patients today], but I can't imagine myself wearing a hearing aid... But if these are the cards that are dealt to me, I have no choice but to play 'em...

Full Circle

I didn't think I would be posting so soon, but here I am.

I just came back from S's house. It was a huge party, at least 25+ people. This party reminded me exactly what happened 7 months ago in May, when I started to like her. Today, we spent a lot of time together since we didn't talk for over 2 weeks. At times I wish I could tell her how I still feel, but I can't. Because she's already interested in another guy. It's not B from my previous posts, but some dude that owns a Subaru.

I thought I could move on and stop liking her, but it seems that I can't. I came back to square one and I can't seem to leave.

She told me before that she "don't do hugs" [unless it's her BFF's], but for the first time ever, she hugged me before I even got to offer. It was a tight hug, not some half-ass'd hug. This is all brand new to me [coming from her], so what can I do?

Is this a sign of what's to come for 2008, or am I just over-analyzing for what may hurt me in the end?

Happy New Year!

2008 is finally upon us; lets see what it has instore for all of us!