A deer in the headlights...
A blade on a wrist...
A noose around a neck...
A death of a friend...
A loved one lost...
Today, I've come to the realization that what makes me think that I can go for someone who is already in a relationship when I can't even get anyone that's single, and that's where I lose.
Today, I was sitting next to her. And she was happily typing to someone on msn. I tried to sneak-a-peek, but her contrast was way too low to even make out any text. Part of me thought it was a friend, but the other part - the pessimistic-self - thought it was the bf. And when she was typing, I noticed a ring - thick and silver on her right index finger. My heart sank a bit, but I didn't let it phase me.
As soon as class ended, she didn't wait up as I was talking to another friend in class. She said "Hey, I gotta go. My ride should be here." So I said bye and off she went. I went outside with my other friend, talking about cars. That ended quickly as I saw her walk away. I turned around, said "later man!" and turned back around, hoping I'd catch up to her. But she had disappeared. So I gave up the pursuit and proceeded my way to the bus stop. The bus stop was PACKED and I knew I wouldn't be able to get on the first bus, so I turned around and headed for the washroom.
I did that, and I came back out, heading to the bus stop again. And at that moment, I saw her at the TTC bus stop, just as she was turning around, away from this guy. She was laughing, and the guy had a big grin on his face. She then saw me, our eyes met for a second, and then I turned my head and kept walking. At that moment, I felt my heart sank; a brick to my face; a bat to my head; a knife to my back.
Her ride wasn't here. It was a lie.
She was going to have a nice bus ride to wherever she was going, but definitely not home. And me - with my earphones on - I stood in a crowded bus; blasting Matthew Good...
A blade on a wrist...
A noose around a neck...
A death of a friend...
A loved one lost...
Today, I've come to the realization that what makes me think that I can go for someone who is already in a relationship when I can't even get anyone that's single, and that's where I lose.
Today, I was sitting next to her. And she was happily typing to someone on msn. I tried to sneak-a-peek, but her contrast was way too low to even make out any text. Part of me thought it was a friend, but the other part - the pessimistic-self - thought it was the bf. And when she was typing, I noticed a ring - thick and silver on her right index finger. My heart sank a bit, but I didn't let it phase me.
As soon as class ended, she didn't wait up as I was talking to another friend in class. She said "Hey, I gotta go. My ride should be here." So I said bye and off she went. I went outside with my other friend, talking about cars. That ended quickly as I saw her walk away. I turned around, said "later man!" and turned back around, hoping I'd catch up to her. But she had disappeared. So I gave up the pursuit and proceeded my way to the bus stop. The bus stop was PACKED and I knew I wouldn't be able to get on the first bus, so I turned around and headed for the washroom.
I did that, and I came back out, heading to the bus stop again. And at that moment, I saw her at the TTC bus stop, just as she was turning around, away from this guy. She was laughing, and the guy had a big grin on his face. She then saw me, our eyes met for a second, and then I turned my head and kept walking. At that moment, I felt my heart sank; a brick to my face; a bat to my head; a knife to my back.
Her ride wasn't here. It was a lie.
She was going to have a nice bus ride to wherever she was going, but definitely not home. And me - with my earphones on - I stood in a crowded bus; blasting Matthew Good...
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